Personal Reflections from Solo Crossing

08/02/13

      Hello, my name is Elena. I am 15 years old and from Colorado. I came to Journeys with my sister Emma, who also joined me on this trip. We have been away for 5 weeks now and are missing home so much. This was also my first time in Washington and backpacking the Olympic National Park. It was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. The best part of the whole trip for me was when we were in our sixth or seventh day into the trip and we just hiked six or seven miles that day to Anderson Pass. We were all exhausted and irritable when we finally reached the top. We got to the top and to our camp site and to our surprise there was a shelter there! All the kids were so ecstatic because it was like staying in a five star hotel for us. The most challenging part for me and the whole trip was the fact of how long the whole trip was. It wasn't really that long but, we were already gone for two weeks staying in Oregon and drove up from there. It's really hard to stay away from home that long. Overall, the trip was a life changing experience for me. The backpacking was awesome, the views were just breathtaking and the people were extraordinary. It helped me open my eyes to the person and the strengths I can do for this world. Thank you Journeys.

      Hey, my name is Jaiden. I'm from Renton, and I'm fifteen years old. I heard about Journeys from one of my mom's friends, who thought it would be perfect for me. I did some research, raised some money, and bam. I was a-journeying. What can I say? Solo Crossing was amazing. Not quite what I expected, but hella fun. I think my favorite part might have been sliding down Anderson Glacier on my butt. They have a fancy word for that, glissading. Did you know that? Sliding down snow on your butt is called glissading. Anyhow, it was freaking awesome. Another amazing thing was my Solo. Forty-eight hours fasting? Psh, no problem. Solo Crossing was challenging for me too, though. I'm really not all that athletic, see, so all those steep climbs and switchbacks were not so fun. Taught me to be stubborn though. Well, more stubborn. Heh. But yeah. Overall, Solo Crossing was the best thing I ever could have done with my summer. I met amazing people, got to see postcard-esque views firsthand, and climbed a mountain. I really hope I can do this again next year. Thank you, Journeys!

      Hello, my name is Kathryn. Before this Journeys trip I felt like just an ordinary seventeen year old from the city of Chicago. Now, I feel fresh and ready to take on any challenge put in my path. I learned about this organization through my father who knew Steve James, the director of Hoop Dreams, a man who had documented trips such as these, following the adventures and difficulties of us young adults. I had a lot of time to think about my life, my family, my friends on this journey, and the decisions I will be making in the near future as an adult. It was a life changing period of time that I learned many strengths on, and shared much compassion with the other teenagers. I will never forget the first few days of hiking up the Olympic Mountains, which included sore muscles but beautiful views of a world which I had not known. Seeing the black bear with his brown tipped nose, the doe-eyed dear, the glistening glaciers, and much more had warmed my soul instantly. We also came to the coast of the Pacific Ocean, which I will say, was one of my favorite parts of the trip (although I had many others). The fact that we were able to fall asleep to the aching moans of the ocean and the eagles calling in the trees was astonishing. Before I even knew it hiking with a backpack for miles felt like nothing! I could almost picture myself as if I was the wind blowing through the trees and watching over all things living. I now have a spiritual connection with myself, with others, and with the outside. I look forward to the near future where I will continue journeys that call to the soul.

      My name is Emma Baffin Donharl, and this trip has helped bring clarity on my transition from my childhood into this next year when I will be starting my life as an "adult". There were, and still are, many different pieces of me that have struggled throughout my life and are really painful. The ability to work on these hurt little pieces of Emma and realizing that I have to accept and love every part of me has been a very large and fulfilling part of this trip. My little sister and I were able to mend a failing relationship and start a healthy one to work on this huge transition and separation we are about to go through. The hike was beautiful, and having the ability to really immerse myself and find connection in a place other than my Rocky Mountains was invigorating. This trip really is a monument to my stepping into a new life, and I am thankful to Journeys to be able to make that happen.

    I am called Yestra Barnes Myint or Ye. I am from Edmonds, Washington. I was born in Burma, and I moved here about four years ago. On this three week long program, I had the most interesting experience that I have ever had in my life. The program changed me into a completely different person in a positive way. It gave me time to think of who I am, and why I do what I do. Also, the guides that were there on the trip were amazingly helpful when the participant needed help, but they gave me a chance to learn how to handle responsibility without too much interference (which was really nice). I also was able to figure out how to function as a group efficiently and all of the people there were able to become good friends nicely well. The most touching highlight of this camp was when we did our solo, for it gave me a chance to be able to go deep within myself to search for answers. Overall, I believe that this was a totally amazing camp and I hope that it continues itself for future generations that are in search of something meaningful in their journey to becoming an adult! Thank you to all the guides and my mentor!

Weaving Women -- Becoming a Young Woman

By Alex Eisenberg, Apprentice for Becoming A Young Woman, July 7-13, 2013

Becoming a Young Woman is a unique trip for Journeys because it is not a backpacking trip. The seven girls who came on this trip did not struggle over miles of a trail. They did not experience the world from the top of a mountain. They did not get to enjoy the challenge of carrying all their own food and gear into the wilderness. Instead, they spent a week at Sacred Groves, a powerful and nourishing retreat center in the woods and meadows of Bainbridge Island.

And even though the girls of Becoming a Young Woman were not backpacking they were still on a journey--they still struggled, they still experienced "mountain-top" moments, and they certainly still had plenty to enjoy and plenty to carry.

The girls enjoyed trust-building games and wilderness-awareness activities. They enjoyed sunny afternoons and dance parties in the Moonlodge ("In the Moonlodge! We're all dancin' in the Moonlodge!"). They enjoyed fires, story-telling, yummy food, and new friendships.

What they carried were stories--good and bad, funny and scary, sad and uplifting. They carried stories about themselves and stories about each other. They carried stories about their childhood and stories about their future. They carried stories of their own lives and stories of people in distant and mysterious lands. They carried all of these stories, and each of them was different.

The girls also carried masks--masks that had been shaped by childhood and parents, by shelter and by storm; masks that were hiding some things that wanted to be seen. By the time we arrived at Sacred Groves those masks were feeling cramped and uncomfortable, and weren't fitting so well anymore. And those old stories seemed strange in this new wild place, with these new wild people, who actually weren't like the stories had said they would be. 

On Monday, the first full day at Sacred Groves, the girls were joined by an elder--a basket-weaver and a story-weaver. Kayla shared her weaving wisdom with the group, and then helped as each of the girls carefully crafted her own unique reed basket. Each basket emerged differently--all different shapes, sizes, styles, and combinations of colors. Through their artistry, each basket honored the important stories woven into them. And it was clear too that each basket was made to carry something different.

As we wove, we sang:

"Weave and spin,

Weave and spin,

This is how our work begins.

Mend and heal,

Mend and heal

Take this dream and make it real!"

The next day, during the sweat lodge, the sharing deepened. The stories came out, the masks came off, and the intentions of each person began to weave into reality. Which stories would they carry into adolescence, and which would they leave behind?

And we sang:

"Spiraling into the center, the center of the wheel.

Spiraling into the center, the center of the wheel.

We are the weavers,

we are the woven ones

we are the dreamers,

we are the dream.

We are the weavers,

we are the woven ones,

we are the dreamers,

we are the dream!"

Wednesday was almost like a dream. It was the day of the 8-hour solo-fast, and the girls stood around the fire in the misty morning, clutching their masks. One by one, they stepped forward and let them go, releasing the stories of childhood they no longer wished to carry. Then, one-by-one, they were led along a path of their empty baskets and crossed the threshold to the woods where they would go, alone. 

Eight hours later, around the same fire, we welcomed back 7 young women, each with a brightly-painted cast of their face, shining boldly with intentions for what they will carry in adolescence. The baskets that had been empty now carried of gifts for remembering and celebrating the freedoms and responsibilities of this new stage of life.

And celebrate they did! The group enjoyed a relaxing evening and then a wild night of sweet treats, dancing, being goofy and letting loose together, beading necklaces and telling stories. The celebrating and fun continued the next day as the group spent the morning doing each other's hair and make-up in preparation for the Maidenhood ceremony where they would be honored and witnessed as young women. And after the ceremony there were even more treats and dancing, and (finally!) on Friday we all got to go to the beach to swim and play before heading back to Songaia the next morning.

Sound like a whirlwind? It was! But it was also timeless.

In a reflection about the trip one of the young women had this to say about her experience: 

"I think when we're in our day to day lives, we really forget who we really are. All of the technology and mindless babble going on around us, it's hard to really concentrate on who we really are. But when you get the chance to spend so much time alone with yourself... It's truly enlightening. You get the chance not only to remember who you are, but to discover who you aren't as well. You can see your strengths and weaknesses clearly. You know your flaws, and you can see your own beauty. And you get to understand how you can change yourself for the better, so that the person you've always wanted to be can become the person you know you truly are."

All seven bold young women took this journey to uncover and remember who they are and want to be, and began to weave that truth into something they can carry with them as they move forward in their adolescence.

AWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

The Journeyers Return: Notes from Coming of Age for Boys

Phew! We've just returned to sunny Songaia after three weeks of journeying through the wilderness of the Olympic Peninsula, and questing through the wilderness of our hearts. Seven boys and four guides set out to undertake the journey between childhood and adolescence. We've braved glacial rivers, torrential downpours, and invasive sand, seen black bears and eagles, and each grown through the fires and blessing of traveling through the wilds with a group of fellow seekers. Below you'll find a glimpse of our journey, written by the boys on one of their final days. Enjoy!

Hiking

During this trip we did a lot of hiking. It started off really hard between the heavy packs and the very treacherous trails, but as the journey progressed and our muscles grew, our packs got lighter, the trails became easier, and hiking overall was tolerable. We woke up early in the morning to start hiking and that did nopt help hiking being enjoyable. The weather everyday affected our moods towards hiking. In the beginning, it was very sullen and rainy, but over time the sun came out and our moods started to brighten. Though the hiking was not fun, the sense of accomplishment of finishing a trail or getting to an awesome view made it all worthwhile.

 

The group poses in front of the largest Sitka spruce in the world!

Enchanted Valley

Enchanted Valley was very beautiful. We really liked waking up in front of waterfalls and amazing mountains. We went on a day hike and it was very fun. We were stopped halfway through because the waterfall had broken the bridge across. Instead, we went to the river and had lunch. Overall, we think enchanted valley was very "enchanting".

 

Morning View of Enchanted Valley

The Beach

The beach was a significantly different experience from the woods. First of all we would fall asleep to the sound of crashing waves instead of rushing river. The sand got everywhere which was annoying! It was a lot harder to hike on the and and it was a lot colder because of the ocean breeze. Overall, it was harder but still fun.

 

Washington or Hawaii?

Solo

The solo was the most challenging part of this trip. We started very early in the morning and it was extremely cold. It got worse as the day progressed. It got colder and we got hungry. There were fresh muscles in the water that we could have cooked but out of a sense of duty, we agonizingly refrained ourselves. As the day grew longer and colder, we started to get very bored and lonely. We started to become into a state where we were growing emotionally and the whole days was physically and emotionally straining. When we got back we ate oranges that tasted like heaven.

An Accomplished Group

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Prospective Immigrants Please Note

by Adrienne Rich

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Either you will

go through this door

or you will not go through.

If you go through

there is always the risk

of remembering your name.

Things look at you doubly

and you must look back

and let them happen.

If you do not go through

it is possible

to live worthily

to maintain your attitudes

to hold your position

to die bravely

but much will blind you,

much will evade you,

at what cost who knows?

The door itself makes no promises.

It is only a door.

Insights from Call to Adventure...rain, rain and more rain (with laughter along the way)

by Graham McLaren, Guide for Rite of Passage Journeys Call to Adventure - June 23 - 29, 2013

The call to adventure of June 2013 brought together 9 intrepid explorers and three adventurous guides. We started off our first day getting to know each other on a long drive to the Lake Ozette Campground. The group arrived with the rain and quickly learned basic fire making skills. A hot dog roast warmed bellies and eased the transition into the new group life experience.

In the morning the group discovered the salmonberries surrounding our site and this added a tasty distraction during the preparations to hit the trail. There remained an air of uncertainty in the group as we loaded and adjusted our gear and packs and even as we approached the trail. However, once we were off the laughter and riddles began. Hiking though the old growth forest to the coast turned out to be an easy first day for this group and we were eager to explore the beach at Cape Alava, our first camping site. We watched the tide roll in as we set up camp and prepared dinner. Bird alarms warned us of an intruder and we caught site of a raccoon in a nearby tree. Later we watched the raccoon sneaking around camp and investigating our bear cans. We held our first council that night creating a safe container to share and learn about our selves and to connect to each other on a deeper level.

The next day was our layover day. At low tide we explored the tide pools all around Cannon Ball Island. We played games on the beach, which were the highlight of the day for much of the group. The afternoon included awareness exercises and activities designed to help us connect with the natural world. We noticed dozens of great blue herons wading in the tide pools. Then we had a sit spot along the beach, which allowed us to watch and then experience a heavy rainstorm rolling in. The rain was truly our partner in this adventure. It rained some (or a lot) every day. That evening students learned that they could put together a skit for the reunion with their parents, and the preparations began immediately. Each day during the trip they practiced and performed new uproariously funny skits about life in the backcountry.

The tides were a significant obstacle this trip and we had to make an early start the next morning. Our goal was to head north and cross the Ozette River in the morning at low tide. We made it across the swift, ankle-high current and arrived at an extremely beautiful campsite. With the culture of leadership roles established camp was set up quickly. When firewood collection was thwarted by high tide we were reminded of how beautiful the ocean scene was. After a time of sitting as a group watching the waves and the seals, we ran with laughter and glee to play in the ocean waves. We saw the ocean push back against the river causing her to rise higher and higher. We transitioned to playing in the river and watched a river otter swimming and chattering just a few yards a way. Then we relaxed, warming ourselves on the beach rocks. During our after-dinner sit spot on the beach and we saw the clouds break and we got our first glimpse of the sun as it began to get low in the sky.

Thought it rained much of the trip, the next day it really rained. And it rained. And it rained some more. We had a tough morning getting going and a tough hike along the coast. The sight of ravens flying off brought our attention to a seal carcass. We marveled at the whiskers, flippers, size and overall beauty of this animal, and then we noticed the eagle tracks in the sand. We made it back to Cape Alava. But when we tried to push on further south to our goal of Wedding Rocks, we were stopped by the high tide and couldn’t go any further. And so we decided to stay at Cape Alava again. In moments the adventurers had their tarps set and were underneath warming up in their sleeping bags, joking and laughing. It was amazing to see how quickly this group learned new skills, and adapted to the environment and each other in creating a nurturing group experience. After dinner we sat around the fire and took turns telling stories of significant events from our lives and it was clear the safety and bonding each of us felt in that moment.

The next day was mostly dry and we hiked to wedding rocks to look for petroglyphs. The group was high energy this day and moved quickly all day. We had heard of a whale carcass from other hikers and found it. We guessed it to be 20 feet long and that was only the pelvis and some of the ribs and vertebrae. It was amazing to see the skeleton of an animal whose ribs were taller than any one in our group. Further down the beach the group also stalked up close to observe a mule deer walking the edge of the beach and grassy slope. After singing our farewell to the ocean we hiked back through the forest to Lake Ozette. The laughter and singing of the group could be heard throughout the campground that evening and in the morning as well. We had all grown through the challenges, responsibilities, and by connecting with each other, the natural world, and ourselves.

Flickers: Reflections from the Adult Wilderness Quest

Wildfire reminds me to accept. I can never decide if it should be celebrated or mourned. Whichever I choose, the fires will burn.

~~~

The spark had been kindled in us long before we even knew,

And we each held it burning in our chests, in our bellies, in our bowels

Silently

until we gathered.

Like a gathering storm we come together,

Twelve questing people

Four of us guiding

Eight of us seeking

All of us setting off together

for 9 days in the wilderness valley

of our souls.

Each with our own story,

questions, wounds, and fears.

Lost, angry, grieving

ourselves and the earth;

Feeling the intensity of this moment in time;

Looking for healing, answers, solitude, community;

Looking for each other

Looking for ourselves

Looking to ignite our visions

and dance in the flames.

~~~

The first day all together, preparing to depart for the valley, we exchange beads with each other, weaving our lives and stories together. We string our beads around our necks, and the little stones start to knock against each other and spark; reminders of the little fires we are trying to keep alive within ourselves.

That night, we circle around a fire pit stacked high with wood. As per tradition, myself, the youngest, and Deanna, the eldest, each take our sparks in our hands and cast them onto the pile. We—the bookends, representing the range of adulthood and all the experience between—ignite the flame of our collective quest.

And the fires start.

The fires start that night as we sit in our sweat lodge. We sweat and spark the grandfather stones back to life and call in the elements and the directions. In the pitch darkness we call in eagle and he flies us over to the valley where the heart of our quest will take place. Our flight creates static with the air and lightning strikes the ground like a match; we drop sparks of prayer as we fly past. We return and circle around, and dive—spiraling down into the womb of the earth. We sink into hypnosis as we stare deep into the fire burning within our ancestors—the rocks burning hot to alchemize our pain and longing, our stirring souls, into something new.

The fire burns.

The stars above me streak across the sky, and somewhere in a valley far away lightning strikes 1000 times.

The morning crackles with anticipation as we pack our gear and drive out over the mountains. Upon our arrival to the river valley, we learn of lightning the night before and a wildfire that it had kindled in an adjacent valley.

The forest burns. We cross the river.

~~~

We have one full day at base camp before our solos. We spend our time circling around the altar—spiraling closer to our intentions. We each find our solo sites, where we will go for three days to fast, reflect, and quest alone. The night before our departure to our sites we are called to the altar for the death lodge. A voice tells us “you have to die to be reborn.”

We resist, or accept. Either way, Death takes us one by one, and we read our goodbyes out loud and burn them.

We each blow out our own candle, extinguishing everything we know.

The fire dies.

We die.

Darkness engulfs.

The silence returns.

Cold sets in.

~~~

For three long days we sit at our separate sites in a circle of our prayers, in the ashes of ourselves, and we fast. We mourn, cry, celebrate, sleep, circle, learn, listen, witness, carve, kill, create, write, paint, build, break, shiver, shake, throw, scream, dance, chant, pray, and sing; we rediscover, re-imagine, and re-envision ourselves; and finally, we reignite our souls.  

On the fourth morning, as the sun emerges to rekindle the day with its light, we each emerge like the phoenix, and we return.

~~~

That day is a warm day, a campfire day, with hot soup, hot showers, warm potatoes, and the warm company of each other. It is a slow day of crafting and absorbing, expressing and releasing. We take our blank masks and enliven them with the color of our new truth.

As we continue circling—spiraling now in our new directions—smoke begins filling the valley. We share our stories.

The fire is spreading.

~~~

On the last night we release our prayers onto the wind in a purple bonfire at the riverside. They drift up to mingle with the smoke from the wildfire. (Three days later, driving down I-90 in Seattle, my companion notes the smoky air and says that the wind has carried the smoke all the way out here from Wenatchee. “And the prayers,” I add.)

The fires blaze wild in the night.

~~~

In the morning, the valley’s all a haze and there is new urgency hanging in the air. As we prepare to close the space, uniformed men come and tell us we have to evacuate by evening. The fire, started the night before we came, has finally reached us, the day we plan to leave.

Holding our own stories and each others, we say goodbye to this place, especially the trees who have been our guardians during those days. We leave them behind with a blessing, and new questions flicker to life in our minds: What will become of this place? What does the forest think of wildfire? Is it a feared enemy? A necessary evil? A welcome friend? Or simply a sign of change? Do trees mourn their own deaths? Do they resist it?

Before crossing the river, I stand facing a tree, my arm extended so my palm caresses the bark. I feel the tree’s energy flowing through me. I sense a hint of fear but mostly knowing, mostly understanding: the fire comes not to destroy, but to renew. “You have to die to be reborn.”

We cross the river.

On the other side, winding up the dirt road, we see the leaves have newly turned, burned with the cold. They are bursting flames of red, standing out suddenly against the evergreen—initiated into their new stage. The new season begins. The fire blazes around us. Our hearts burn with new commitments to ourselves, to our people, and to our Earth. The fire blazes within us.

~~~

As we drive out of the valley, the sun is hazed over in a thick smoke, but our vision is clear. 

Written by Alex Eisenberg, October 2012

The Journey Continues: We Spiraled In

We spiraled in:

Into the labyrinth at base camp in Bothell and across the Sound on the ferry,
Into the mountains, looking out across Olympic ranges from Deer Ridge, then down
Into the valley of the Greywolf River at its three forks,
Got into some wild berries, intimate councils, and giggly games of psychiatrist,
Hiking through old-growth forests, the river our constant companion, and up
Into subalpine meadows of lupine and indian paintbrush and waddling marmots,
And finally into the basin of Cedar Lake,
Into solo time.

And there we sat in the still mountain air
The silence broken by the occasional piercing whistle of a marmot.

The three participants sat on their own in quiet reflection
Perhaps soaking up the life of the place around them
Perhaps learning how to rest more deeply in themselves
And the fog rolled in thick. It mad a sort of visual silence, a cool unknown
And then rolled through as clouds swirled above the rocky ridge towering over us,
Letting the sun break out here and there in bursts of glorious warmth.

Hours passed and we brought our brave journeyers back together around a little fire
And they added a little glow as they spoke their first words emanating out of their quiet solitude.


And then we began spiraling back out:

First bites of post-quest food, almond butter noodles,
Hiking down, more games and laughter,
Hiking up (oh how we beasted that hill),
And down again out of the mountains and across the Sound
We sang our song to family and friends, and walked
Out of the labyrinth and back into our lives, refreshed, re-inspired, ready. 

By Cameron Whithey
Photos by Emily Pease

Coming of Age for Boys 2012

In the summer of 2012, our group of eight boys set out on a three-week backpacking trip through Olympic National Park. Our objective was to begin to fill the shoes of young men and step out of our childhood neediness. We began our journey as complete strangers, yet grew to become close friends. Along the way we faced many obstacles; such as strenuous hiking, learning how to work together, and getting adjusted to the new routine. We overcame these obstacles only with the help of our friendship and guides.

One of our biggest challenges was becoming mature enough for our guides to step back and let us take control of the trip. Pulled together by the great leaders in our midst, we did a good job beginning to take on the responsibilities setting and breaking camp. Breaking camp was difficult for us, and this resulted in the opportunity to do community service trash pick-ups and a lot of exasperation. Fortunately, we learned from our mistakes and improved our clean-up skills.

The physical element of the trip was yet another challenge we faced, and took a great deal of courage to surmount. We hiked a full mile (over 5000 feet!) of vertical and crossed raging rivers, babbling brooks, lush meadows of wildflowers, and flitted across vast fields of glowing snow, then we traveled to the beach and traversed b beaches and scaled sandy bluffs. To culminate this adventure we spent 24 hours of solo time on the beach while fasting and partook in a sweat lodge ritual.

This journey taught us about nature, ourselves, and being a young man in today's society.  It helped us let go of our childhood neediness and dependency, find out about our strengths and weaknesses, and use this enlightenment to step into the role of a young man and start giving back to the people who raised us and cared for us through childhood.

--written by Isaac Zinda and Rowan Gallagher